nadé.mag

So today it’s Valentine’s Day. I honestly never understood the purpose of this “holiday”. When I had my first boyfriend I stressed about buying him a nice present, I think I got him boxer shorts or something like that, that didn’t even fit him. I was 16 years old. The only thing I knew, was that if you are in a relationship you are supposed to buy your partner a present to demonstrate your love for this person. Now, 20 years later I don’t give a sh*** about Valentine’s Day anymore, I have been in a happy relationship for a couple of years now and I am glad that my partner sees it the same way as I do. Yep, we don’t get each other presents on Valentine’s Day, we celebrate our love every day, I know that sounds kitschy but it’s true. Our special love days are days that we, ok real talk, that I set and told him that they were special and needed to be celebrated from now on every year. I have nothing against Valentine’s Day as a matter of fact it’s nice to have an international day which celebrates love. 

Saint Valentine wasn’t a florist

For the sake of this article I did some research about Valentine’s Day and I was surprised to find out that it actually originates from a Christian custom and not, as I picked up, from a florist named Valentine who initiated Valentine’s Day to boost his business. In very brief, Valentine from Rome was a Catholic priest who married couples according to Christian rites although it was forbidden by the emperor Claudius II. It is also said that he offered flowers from his own garden to the couples and that their marriages were under a lucky star. Claudius II had Saint Valentine decapitated on February 14th 269. 200 years later in 469 Pope Gelasius I introduced February 14th as a memorial day for Saint Valentine for the Church. However, this date was deleted from the Roman general calendar in 1969 because there is not enough proof that Saint Valentine really existed. Nonetheless, some Churches re-celebrate Saint Valentine and perform special Blessing Ceremonies on this day.

Love against all odds

If Saint Valentine is the patron of love and Valentines’ Day is about celebrating love against all odds, I say, no I proclaim use this day to celebrate YOU. To tell and show you how much you love you. Yes, I proclaim Valentines’ Day to be all lovey-dovey about yourself and spoil yourself. It might sound crazy, well it probably does or feel weird or even presumptuous, but think about where you are now against all odds. Think about what you have achieved so far, where you have come from and where you stand now. Remember the obstacles you’ve faced, the challenges you’ve overcome. Setbacks and tragedies you had to deal with. Remember when you thought you will never be able to handle this and yet you did. Take a minute, close your eyes, take a deep breath and recall every time you showed up for more pleasant and less funny things last year. Applause yourself because you did this!

Self-love is not selfish 

You might not be there where you want to be now or maybe you are, anyway, 

don’t be too harsh on yourself and take this very moment to pause for a second and just be grateful for everything you have accomplished so far and say it out loud: “Happy Valentines’ Day to me, I love me.” It’s weird to say: “I love ME”, right? Even Google Docs is confused and auto-suggests me to correct “love me” into “love you”. Although self-love is being proclaimed more and more it still has this itchy feeling on it. Why is that? I guess, because from a very young age on, we have been taught to share our toys with our siblings or school mates, to be caring especially with those who are in need, to be humble. Basically, we are pro-actively taught to give our love to others but not to ourselves. Not sharing, not caring is bad, it’s selfish. And somehow taking care of yourself, putting you first (yep, I’ve said it), making sure you want for nothing is being perceived as selfish or isn’t that self-love? I won’t go any further into this topic of self-love, I will dedicate an entire chapter to it, there is so much more to dig in. 

For what I clap myself for

For now I want to encourage you to use this Valentine’s Day to celebrate you, to be indulgent with you and cheer the awesome and wonderful person you are. Today, I am thankful to myself and I love myself for having had the courage to leave my comforting secure job one year ago and start something completely out of my zone of comfort. I was overthinking this huge step for many years now and due to a couple of different reasons I finally decided one year ago to make a leap to start my own business in a totally new area. I am not going to lie nor to you, nor to myself. It has been a tough year, I lost a few kilos, the relationship with my boyfriend suffered and I also didn’t get much sleep during a certain time. But never have I once regretted my choice. I felt in control of my life again which I didn’t for many years. I felt and I feel alive and not on autopilot anymore. I actually remember very well what I experienced last year, something difficult for me when I was still on auto-pilot. Yes, it was a tense year but with not a single doubt one of my best decisions. I have grown so much last year on both a psychological and professional level.

Stay motivated, you are not alone

You are maybe at the beginning of your self-fulfilment journey as I am or a few steps ahead or you haven’t started, yet. Anyways, it’s not alway easy to keep your motivation going or to even find the motivation and inspiration to get started. Knowing that you are not alone with your endeavor and emotional ups and downs can be of a huge help to pursue your purpose.

Sign up below and read first hand how the journey goes on, what challenges I face and how I cope with them. Also find out how I train my mindset towards positive thinking and positive emotions in order to achieve my goals. 

Love, Nadège

P.S.: What are you proud of? How do you celebrate yourself? For what do you applaud yourself? Please share with the tribe.